Well .. So, .. now that the Confederate flag has gone the way of the swastika it won’t be long until the Washington Redskins name and mascot are a tossed off the reservation for it being racist towards Native Americans. Yeah sure , I can see where folks may find it offensive. I get it.
So then lets say they change their name… What are they gonna change it to?  … Wait! does this now mean those hipster shit bird’s are no longer allowed to dress in Native American-esque clothing? No more wearing head dresses, feathers in their clothes and hair, no moccasins, stupid face paint , beaded head bands, no more getting drunk off of the fire water and shooting flaming arrows wildly into the air  and all that other shit that goes along with being “Native American”? Cool! I can get behind that.

Well while you’re at it I would like to put in a request to get rid of the name “Black Friday” Its stupid, very confusing and yes racist.  Also Eskimo Pies…. They taste like shit! Change the name to Shit Pies. Racist.  And Uncle Ben’s Rice?! Come on! Uncle Ben looks to similar to that creepy black asshole butler from Django Unchanged, I really think you should change the logo to something more friendly and less offensive.

Now I know what you are saying… “Well what about the Cleveland Indians?!  They are racist as hell, probably most racist!” Well, I disagree. If you remember the reason that Native Americans are called “Indians” in the first place is because when Christopher Columbus landed in America ( and he never even reached North America, he only ever really explored a hand full of islands in the Caribbean) he originally thought that he had actually reached India and stupidly started referring to the natives as “Indians”  then …. He killed them and took their land.

So what I propose is that the name “Indians” stay as a reminder of  this great country’s  beginnings, It’s blinding determination to get what it wants no matter who or what stands in its way,  the never ending string of crafty skulduggery that built this vast empire, A reminder of how it was accidentally stumbled upon, its indigenous people mistakenly yet cleverly named, exterminated but then generously given casino’s in conciliation. …. I believe the Cleveland Indians are truly America’s team.

I’m not saying anything, I’m just saying…

If the hipsters and scene kids enjoy dressing up and wearing “native american” type clothing like moccasins, feathers and braided headbands I cant fucking wait till they start wearing blankets coated in smallpox.

 Adolf Hitler the worlds most notorious war criminal and Nazi is BACK! 

Adolf Hitler has returned , emerged from his stronghold deep within hollow earth but this time he has set his sights on our puppy dogs. Over the past few months Hitler has been wreaking havoc on the puppy dog population of America, slaughtering them by the millions and if that isn’t bad enough Hitler has gone Hipster!

Yes Hitler the Hipster. Adorned with his trademark idiotic mustache and silly comb over he has now adopted a pair of stone wash cut off jean shorts that are cut off way too fucking high, a vintage Nazi Kaiser helmet and an overly ironic raggedy t-shirt that says “Der Fuhrer” on the front.

So in an international effort spread awareness about this madman and bring him to justice all hipsters please shave off your mustaches and maybe we can make Adolf Hitler Famous……. Again.